"As the world takes its last breath..."

This particular dream always starts out in total darkness, like I've got my eyes shut. I can hear my mother sobbing hysterically somewhere to my left and it takes her a few beats to calm down enough to actually speak.

"You don't have to go. Please, don't do this."

"Mom..." I tell her in the voice which always manages to relax her nerves. "it's ok. There isn't a choice, here. I have to do this."

"I'm never going to see you again, am I?" There's a quiet acceptance in her tone, but it's overshadowed by grief.

"No. I love you, mom. I'm proud to be your son."

"I love you, too. I..." her voice trails off and I'm whisked away to another location. My eyes are still closed and my father's voice fills my right ear.

"You're sure you want to do this?" He sounds concerned, but with Dad it's always hard to tell.

"I'm sure."

"Well, take care of yourself, then." That's all he has to say before I'm taken someplace new again.

From the sounds and motions I can tell I'm riding in a moving vehicle. The driver is talking to me; his voice deep and one I don't recognize.

"You realize this is it don't you?" He asks and I can tell he's trying to see where my head is.

For the first time I open my eyes which are staring out of the passenger window and I'm startled by what I see. We're riding on a suspension bridge and I watch the reflection of the moon follow us along the surface of the water. "Yes." I say out loud, but never once look in his direction.

"And you know you're not going to walk away from this?"

I glance down at the shotgun resting between my legs, but it just makes me feel even more helpless. "I know."

"Ok, we're here."

I look up through the windshield and what I see almost shatters my mind. Along the edges of the bridge are curved lampposts lighting the way. There are no other cars on the lane we're on, but the other ones going the opposite way are filled with the remains of cars and their occupants. Straight ahead at the end of the bridge is a cityscape, which is being devoured by flames. I close my eyes, but I can still see it behind my lids.

"This is the reason you were born." Another voice whispers into my head. Then the dream ends and the transition between it and the waking world is violent.

I've had it on three separate occasions over the last 25 years and each time it gets a little bit longer. The last one was in 2006 when I was living in South Carolina. I'm really not looking forward to the next one.