Wednesday, March 23, 2011
When we reach the top of the hill, I spread the blanket I'm carrying under my arms across the grass. I hold out my hand, offering her a seat, and don't take mine until after she does. We then hold hands in silence as we gaze out at the spectacle before us. Then, we turn away and look into each others eyes. For a brief moment, we try to convey all the feelings we have which are too complex for words with a single look. Within it is a fire which rivals those starting to close in around us. Then, we connect at the lips for the most passionate kiss of our lives as the world is reduced to ashes.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
The earliest memory of my Father.
I'm really young and it always starts while I'm in the middle of a conversation with my Dad he claims never happened. We're riding in his truck and I'm too small to see anything but sky out the windows with the occasional curved lamppost which now look oddly familiar.
"You see, son, the world is going to end it's going to happen soon." He tells me without taking his eye off the road. "You need to be ready for it."
"When is this going to happen?"
"Soon." His voice sounds different than it has before or since. It's gentle, with just a touch of sadness.
"Why?"
"Because everything must end."
"H.." I swallow hard, "How does it..."
"The last time it happened He used water. This time it will be fire." My head is flooded with images which still haunt me today and I feel like I'm going to throw up. "You have to be ready."
This is the last thing I remember.
"You see, son, the world is going to end it's going to happen soon." He tells me without taking his eye off the road. "You need to be ready for it."
"When is this going to happen?"
"Soon." His voice sounds different than it has before or since. It's gentle, with just a touch of sadness.
"Why?"
"Because everything must end."
"H.." I swallow hard, "How does it..."
"The last time it happened He used water. This time it will be fire." My head is flooded with images which still haunt me today and I feel like I'm going to throw up. "You have to be ready."
This is the last thing I remember.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Visions
The first prophetic dream I can remember having occurred during kindergarten (I believe, it's really hard to get it straight with how many times we moved) and after I heard the Voice for the first time. Mom and Jeff (my later to be step-dad) were separated and we were living in a trailer. I was sleeping when something woke me up. This is when the TV turned on by itself to reveal an old, bald man behind a news desk. His hands were bloody and sprayed gore whenever he moved them. He looked me dead in the eyes and said,
"This has been a long time coming. And now, ladies and gentleman, I give you..."
My bedroom window filled with a brilliant light and when I went to it and looked out I found that the sky was on fire.
"the end of the world." Then the TV shut off by itself and I don't remember anything else, not even waking up.
There's only once I can claim to have had an actual vision. It was after the previous dream and I was riding with mom and Jeff in his truck. They were talking amongst themselves and I sat quietly in the back seat, just like always. There was this brilliant flash and once it dissipated the world around me had changed.
The road we were driving on was cracked and littered with debris, which we drove through unscathed. Outside the passenger window I could see huge, gaping chasms with fire and molten rock spilling out of them. People were screaming and burning alive and when I looked up at the sky it was blood red. I was terrified, but they kept talking in the front seat like they were oblivious to the horrors happening all around us. Then, another flash brought everything back to normal. They didn't even notice how terrified I was in the back.
I've never told the second story before tonight, while the first served as the inspiration for Ch. 10 of Harbinger.
"This has been a long time coming. And now, ladies and gentleman, I give you..."
My bedroom window filled with a brilliant light and when I went to it and looked out I found that the sky was on fire.
"the end of the world." Then the TV shut off by itself and I don't remember anything else, not even waking up.
There's only once I can claim to have had an actual vision. It was after the previous dream and I was riding with mom and Jeff in his truck. They were talking amongst themselves and I sat quietly in the back seat, just like always. There was this brilliant flash and once it dissipated the world around me had changed.
The road we were driving on was cracked and littered with debris, which we drove through unscathed. Outside the passenger window I could see huge, gaping chasms with fire and molten rock spilling out of them. People were screaming and burning alive and when I looked up at the sky it was blood red. I was terrified, but they kept talking in the front seat like they were oblivious to the horrors happening all around us. Then, another flash brought everything back to normal. They didn't even notice how terrified I was in the back.
I've never told the second story before tonight, while the first served as the inspiration for Ch. 10 of Harbinger.
Friday, March 4, 2011
With a bang
This is a dream I just woke up from and I want to try and get it down while it's still fresh.
It started with my last day from the job I just recently quit, but it happened differently. For some reason, all of the employees were forced to sleep at the office due to some horrible event which was happening all over the world. There were no details concerning just exactly what was transpiring outside the walls, but everyone was panicked and I wasn't even allowed to go outside for a smoke. I had some heartfelt conversations with fellow coworkers which now escape me.
The next thing I know, I'm outside with woods all around me. Some time had passed and I was fully knowledgeable of why I was forced to previously stay inside. There was some kind of epidemic which was being passed to us by the animals. Doctors likened it to rabies (similar to 28 days later) but it worked differently. I don't know why and I quickly let it go because suddenly I was surrounded by a pack of snarling dogs and they were more deserving of my attention.
I could tell they wanted to rip my throat out, but they kept their distance. I was scared, but I knew everything was going to be ok, because for some reason nothing ever attacked me in this world. They were held back from doing so by some outside force, allowing me to walk past them unharmed. They followed me, snarling the entire time and viciously tore apart any person or creature that happened by.
Finally I came to a house I had never seen before and began knocking on the door. An older woman I'd only seen in pictures answered and said, "Thank God you made it, get inside!"
"Are you two ok?" I asked her, my voice matching her hysteria.
"No...she..." She struggled with the news I knew I wouldn't want to hear. "Oh, Davlin. She's gotten sick."
I let the weight of her words sink in before asking, "Where's my shotgun?"
She pointed to it and I loaded it up. I went to find her, the woman I loved, and when I looked into her eyes I could tell I was already starting to lose her.
"Just do it." Was all she could bring herself to say.
Tears began to fall down my cheeks and even though I knew I was immune, it wasn't safe to get too close. I asked her to turn around, which she did, and I put the barrel of my gun to the back of her head. My hands were shaking and it took me a few seconds to steady them. Then, I pulled the trigger.
The gun malfunctioned and did minimal damage and she was still alive. I pumped the gun and fired again, but she was still standing. I reloaded and emptied the gun again. She screamed in agony, but was still alive.
"For someone expected to save us all, you sure are bad at it." She told me, blood running from her mouth.
Tears flowed from my eyes as I repeated the process and the next shot finished the job. Once she was gone I let the gun fall to the floor. Sounds of a world falling apart could be heard outside of the house. I stood there in shock when her mom walked over to me, took me into her arms and together we grieved.
It started with my last day from the job I just recently quit, but it happened differently. For some reason, all of the employees were forced to sleep at the office due to some horrible event which was happening all over the world. There were no details concerning just exactly what was transpiring outside the walls, but everyone was panicked and I wasn't even allowed to go outside for a smoke. I had some heartfelt conversations with fellow coworkers which now escape me.
The next thing I know, I'm outside with woods all around me. Some time had passed and I was fully knowledgeable of why I was forced to previously stay inside. There was some kind of epidemic which was being passed to us by the animals. Doctors likened it to rabies (similar to 28 days later) but it worked differently. I don't know why and I quickly let it go because suddenly I was surrounded by a pack of snarling dogs and they were more deserving of my attention.
I could tell they wanted to rip my throat out, but they kept their distance. I was scared, but I knew everything was going to be ok, because for some reason nothing ever attacked me in this world. They were held back from doing so by some outside force, allowing me to walk past them unharmed. They followed me, snarling the entire time and viciously tore apart any person or creature that happened by.
Finally I came to a house I had never seen before and began knocking on the door. An older woman I'd only seen in pictures answered and said, "Thank God you made it, get inside!"
"Are you two ok?" I asked her, my voice matching her hysteria.
"No...she..." She struggled with the news I knew I wouldn't want to hear. "Oh, Davlin. She's gotten sick."
I let the weight of her words sink in before asking, "Where's my shotgun?"
She pointed to it and I loaded it up. I went to find her, the woman I loved, and when I looked into her eyes I could tell I was already starting to lose her.
"Just do it." Was all she could bring herself to say.
Tears began to fall down my cheeks and even though I knew I was immune, it wasn't safe to get too close. I asked her to turn around, which she did, and I put the barrel of my gun to the back of her head. My hands were shaking and it took me a few seconds to steady them. Then, I pulled the trigger.
The gun malfunctioned and did minimal damage and she was still alive. I pumped the gun and fired again, but she was still standing. I reloaded and emptied the gun again. She screamed in agony, but was still alive.
"For someone expected to save us all, you sure are bad at it." She told me, blood running from her mouth.
Tears flowed from my eyes as I repeated the process and the next shot finished the job. Once she was gone I let the gun fall to the floor. Sounds of a world falling apart could be heard outside of the house. I stood there in shock when her mom walked over to me, took me into her arms and together we grieved.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Hell exists
A few weeks after my 18th birthday I was about to get kicked out of my dad's house after living with him for only three days. The depression I'd felt since before I graduated reached its boiling point and I just couldn't take it anymore. Once him and my stepmom were asleep I took every pill from both medicine cabinets and swallowed them.
I sat down and watched TV for a bit and wondered exactly what dying was going to be like. My stomach grew upset and I threw up a little into a bucket that was lying in the converted garage in which I was sleeping. Then, I put the bucket outside, turned off the lights and laid down onto my cot, ready for the end to come and take me.
The first thing that went was my sense of hearing. All the sounds around me were muddled, like I was listening to everything underwater. I felt myself begin to sink, though my body stayed there on the cot. My eyes remained open, but the room around me began slipping farther away. This is when I stopped breathing.
I have no way of knowing how long I was out, because time is nothing more than a word once you've shaken lose the mortal coil. All I know is I felt like I would never stop falling. On the way there, I lost my vision and it wasn't until I reached my destination that my hearing kicked back in. The second it did, I wished it hadn't.
Like I said, I couldn't see a thing. All I could hear were countless voices screaming in pain and pleas for help which would never reach anyone who could do anything for them. Then there was an intense heat like nothing I'd ever known and the pain was intolerable. This was, however, nothing compared to the complete isolation and the knowledge that I would continue to suffer like this forever.
That's when I felt two cool hands place themselves lovingly upon my cheeks. Suddenly, I was racing upwards for what felt like an eternity before I could finally see my body above me. Right before I re-entered my vessel I heard the voice tell me, "It's not your time, yet."
Then I opened my eyes and my dad was sitting next to my cot, holding McDonalds right in front of my face. My stomach was torn to shreds and I couldn't bring myself to eat anything for almost a week after. My stepmom also ripped me a new asshole because the 2 dollar bucket I put outside was destroyed by her dogs.
After having over 7 years to reflect over these events I can tell you with all certainty that it was real. As with everything else I've posted here, I don't care what you think.
The worst thing about it is I'm not sure if this is still what's waiting for me once I've served my purpose and the possibility is always there in the back of my mind. I don't think there's really anything I can do to change this, so instead I've learned to make the best of the time I've got. If nothing else, the happy memories could help ease the pain, should I ever return to the pit for good.
I sat down and watched TV for a bit and wondered exactly what dying was going to be like. My stomach grew upset and I threw up a little into a bucket that was lying in the converted garage in which I was sleeping. Then, I put the bucket outside, turned off the lights and laid down onto my cot, ready for the end to come and take me.
The first thing that went was my sense of hearing. All the sounds around me were muddled, like I was listening to everything underwater. I felt myself begin to sink, though my body stayed there on the cot. My eyes remained open, but the room around me began slipping farther away. This is when I stopped breathing.
I have no way of knowing how long I was out, because time is nothing more than a word once you've shaken lose the mortal coil. All I know is I felt like I would never stop falling. On the way there, I lost my vision and it wasn't until I reached my destination that my hearing kicked back in. The second it did, I wished it hadn't.
Like I said, I couldn't see a thing. All I could hear were countless voices screaming in pain and pleas for help which would never reach anyone who could do anything for them. Then there was an intense heat like nothing I'd ever known and the pain was intolerable. This was, however, nothing compared to the complete isolation and the knowledge that I would continue to suffer like this forever.
That's when I felt two cool hands place themselves lovingly upon my cheeks. Suddenly, I was racing upwards for what felt like an eternity before I could finally see my body above me. Right before I re-entered my vessel I heard the voice tell me, "It's not your time, yet."
Then I opened my eyes and my dad was sitting next to my cot, holding McDonalds right in front of my face. My stomach was torn to shreds and I couldn't bring myself to eat anything for almost a week after. My stepmom also ripped me a new asshole because the 2 dollar bucket I put outside was destroyed by her dogs.
After having over 7 years to reflect over these events I can tell you with all certainty that it was real. As with everything else I've posted here, I don't care what you think.
The worst thing about it is I'm not sure if this is still what's waiting for me once I've served my purpose and the possibility is always there in the back of my mind. I don't think there's really anything I can do to change this, so instead I've learned to make the best of the time I've got. If nothing else, the happy memories could help ease the pain, should I ever return to the pit for good.
My last major encounter
December 2009
It was late that night, I had just spent hours on my laptop and my eyes felt like they were going to bleed. I set the computer by my side, took off my glasses and placed them on the nightstand. That's when I heard the voices. There were dozens of them and they came from all directions. A few of them were angry, others in frightened whispers, but they were all speaking the same language. I've never heard another one like it before or since. Suddenly, I was pushed and held down by an incredible force. From the light of the laptop, I could see my clothes being moved and pulled down by invisible hands in a hungry attempt to expose more skin. Then, they were all over me. I could see the paths of their fingertips as they explored every inch of my body. The voices grew louder and louder until they were screaming with delight. That's when I blacked out.
True story
It was late that night, I had just spent hours on my laptop and my eyes felt like they were going to bleed. I set the computer by my side, took off my glasses and placed them on the nightstand. That's when I heard the voices. There were dozens of them and they came from all directions. A few of them were angry, others in frightened whispers, but they were all speaking the same language. I've never heard another one like it before or since. Suddenly, I was pushed and held down by an incredible force. From the light of the laptop, I could see my clothes being moved and pulled down by invisible hands in a hungry attempt to expose more skin. Then, they were all over me. I could see the paths of their fingertips as they explored every inch of my body. The voices grew louder and louder until they were screaming with delight. That's when I blacked out.
True story
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Open to question
During first grade we lived in one of my favorite houses. It resembled a log cabin and behind it were woods which I spent my weekends exploring. I'm not sure how many of the memories from my younger years I can trust because they're spotty at best, so the story I'm about to tell you could have very well been a dream. Still, it's something to write about.
One Saturday my brother invited me into the woods to go exploring with him. This was back before I learned anytime he wanted me to do anything, it was only because he had something horrible in store for me. I led the way, pointing out insects and wildlife I encountered along he way.
I was so wrapped up in the scenery around me that I didn't hear my brother running up behind me. He threw his shoulder into it as he collided into my back, whipping my head back and landing chest first. He then rolled me over and started hitting me.
Then I was running away in tears while clutching my throbbing chest and I could hear him laughing in the distance. After a few minutes I came to a clearing, with a pond in the middle. 30 yards in front of me sat a woman in a white nightgown. Her back was to me and she was rocking back and forth with quiet sobs. Her long, blonde hair was filthy and matted.
I thought she might need help, so I walked up to her.
"Ma'am..." I called out to her. "Ma'am, are you ok?"
She didn't reply, only cried harder. She then turned around and I stopped cold.
I only saw her face for a second before I blacked out and the only detail I remember was the steady stream of blood flowing from her tear ducts.
I don't remember anything from the next several months after this.
One Saturday my brother invited me into the woods to go exploring with him. This was back before I learned anytime he wanted me to do anything, it was only because he had something horrible in store for me. I led the way, pointing out insects and wildlife I encountered along he way.
I was so wrapped up in the scenery around me that I didn't hear my brother running up behind me. He threw his shoulder into it as he collided into my back, whipping my head back and landing chest first. He then rolled me over and started hitting me.
Then I was running away in tears while clutching my throbbing chest and I could hear him laughing in the distance. After a few minutes I came to a clearing, with a pond in the middle. 30 yards in front of me sat a woman in a white nightgown. Her back was to me and she was rocking back and forth with quiet sobs. Her long, blonde hair was filthy and matted.
I thought she might need help, so I walked up to her.
"Ma'am..." I called out to her. "Ma'am, are you ok?"
She didn't reply, only cried harder. She then turned around and I stopped cold.
I only saw her face for a second before I blacked out and the only detail I remember was the steady stream of blood flowing from her tear ducts.
I don't remember anything from the next several months after this.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
"As the world takes its last breath..."
This particular dream always starts out in total darkness, like I've got my eyes shut. I can hear my mother sobbing hysterically somewhere to my left and it takes her a few beats to calm down enough to actually speak.
"You don't have to go. Please, don't do this."
"Mom..." I tell her in the voice which always manages to relax her nerves. "it's ok. There isn't a choice, here. I have to do this."
"I'm never going to see you again, am I?" There's a quiet acceptance in her tone, but it's overshadowed by grief.
"No. I love you, mom. I'm proud to be your son."
"I love you, too. I..." her voice trails off and I'm whisked away to another location. My eyes are still closed and my father's voice fills my right ear.
"You're sure you want to do this?" He sounds concerned, but with Dad it's always hard to tell.
"I'm sure."
"Well, take care of yourself, then." That's all he has to say before I'm taken someplace new again.
From the sounds and motions I can tell I'm riding in a moving vehicle. The driver is talking to me; his voice deep and one I don't recognize.
"You realize this is it don't you?" He asks and I can tell he's trying to see where my head is.
For the first time I open my eyes which are staring out of the passenger window and I'm startled by what I see. We're riding on a suspension bridge and I watch the reflection of the moon follow us along the surface of the water. "Yes." I say out loud, but never once look in his direction.
"And you know you're not going to walk away from this?"
I glance down at the shotgun resting between my legs, but it just makes me feel even more helpless. "I know."
"Ok, we're here."
I look up through the windshield and what I see almost shatters my mind. Along the edges of the bridge are curved lampposts lighting the way. There are no other cars on the lane we're on, but the other ones going the opposite way are filled with the remains of cars and their occupants. Straight ahead at the end of the bridge is a cityscape, which is being devoured by flames. I close my eyes, but I can still see it behind my lids.
"This is the reason you were born." Another voice whispers into my head. Then the dream ends and the transition between it and the waking world is violent.
I've had it on three separate occasions over the last 25 years and each time it gets a little bit longer. The last one was in 2006 when I was living in South Carolina. I'm really not looking forward to the next one.
"You don't have to go. Please, don't do this."
"Mom..." I tell her in the voice which always manages to relax her nerves. "it's ok. There isn't a choice, here. I have to do this."
"I'm never going to see you again, am I?" There's a quiet acceptance in her tone, but it's overshadowed by grief.
"No. I love you, mom. I'm proud to be your son."
"I love you, too. I..." her voice trails off and I'm whisked away to another location. My eyes are still closed and my father's voice fills my right ear.
"You're sure you want to do this?" He sounds concerned, but with Dad it's always hard to tell.
"I'm sure."
"Well, take care of yourself, then." That's all he has to say before I'm taken someplace new again.
From the sounds and motions I can tell I'm riding in a moving vehicle. The driver is talking to me; his voice deep and one I don't recognize.
"You realize this is it don't you?" He asks and I can tell he's trying to see where my head is.
For the first time I open my eyes which are staring out of the passenger window and I'm startled by what I see. We're riding on a suspension bridge and I watch the reflection of the moon follow us along the surface of the water. "Yes." I say out loud, but never once look in his direction.
"And you know you're not going to walk away from this?"
I glance down at the shotgun resting between my legs, but it just makes me feel even more helpless. "I know."
"Ok, we're here."
I look up through the windshield and what I see almost shatters my mind. Along the edges of the bridge are curved lampposts lighting the way. There are no other cars on the lane we're on, but the other ones going the opposite way are filled with the remains of cars and their occupants. Straight ahead at the end of the bridge is a cityscape, which is being devoured by flames. I close my eyes, but I can still see it behind my lids.
"This is the reason you were born." Another voice whispers into my head. Then the dream ends and the transition between it and the waking world is violent.
I've had it on three separate occasions over the last 25 years and each time it gets a little bit longer. The last one was in 2006 when I was living in South Carolina. I'm really not looking forward to the next one.
Testing. Testing. 1 2 3
Dad was still working for Loomis Armored when I was in fifth grade. He bought him and his partner a set of headset walkie taklies, so they could communicate while separated. He asked me if I wanted to help him try them out and I happily agreed. After we put batteries in them we ran outside and put them on.
"Ok, here's what we're going to do. We'll walk around the block in opposite directions so we can see how far their range is."
I did as instructed and on the walk we played X-files.
"Scully," my dad said in full character. "The werewolf is around here somewhere."
"Aw, dad. I don't want to be Scully. Can't I be Mulder this time?"
"Quiet, I'm Mulder. Now, he's got to be around..." He was cut off my sharp, piercing disturbance which bled into loud music and the sounds of a very large party.
"Davlin! Davlin! Is that you?" The voice sounded familiar, though it was hard to make out over the commotion.
"Who...who is this?" I asked, trying my best to be like Mulder.
"It's your uncle Danny! I'm having a party and everyone's here! Your mom just got here not too long ago. HEY SUSAN! Yeah, she says hi. So, where are you? Can I come get you?" I stopped dead. It sounded just like him, but there's no way he could have reached me on a short wave walky talky, because he lived a town over.
"Um..." I started to panic. "no, that's ok Uncle Danny. I don't feel like going to a party tonight."
"But Davlin." The voice changed slightly, it sounded hungry. "we want you to come. Where are, your dad's? I'm going to come and pick you up."
"No!" I screamed and tore off into a full sprint hoping to run into my father soon.
"I'm coming to get you, Davlin." The voice said in a low tone and it never once occurred to me to take the damn headset off. Tears blurred my vision and I could make out a form not too far in front of me. I stopped dead in my tracks.
"And when I do, I'm going to put you in my car and bring you to the party." Then he chuckled in a way that made me tremble. Then the music got so loud it hurt my ears and then my dad was 20 feet in front of me.
"Hey, Scully. I guess these things don't go very far, do they?" It was my dad's voice coming through the speakers this time. When he got closer he saw the state I was in and grew concerned. "Davlin, are you ok? What happened?" When I wouldn't respond, he scooped me up in his arms and carried me home.
I haven't touched a walky talky since.
"Ok, here's what we're going to do. We'll walk around the block in opposite directions so we can see how far their range is."
I did as instructed and on the walk we played X-files.
"Scully," my dad said in full character. "The werewolf is around here somewhere."
"Aw, dad. I don't want to be Scully. Can't I be Mulder this time?"
"Quiet, I'm Mulder. Now, he's got to be around..." He was cut off my sharp, piercing disturbance which bled into loud music and the sounds of a very large party.
"Davlin! Davlin! Is that you?" The voice sounded familiar, though it was hard to make out over the commotion.
"Who...who is this?" I asked, trying my best to be like Mulder.
"It's your uncle Danny! I'm having a party and everyone's here! Your mom just got here not too long ago. HEY SUSAN! Yeah, she says hi. So, where are you? Can I come get you?" I stopped dead. It sounded just like him, but there's no way he could have reached me on a short wave walky talky, because he lived a town over.
"Um..." I started to panic. "no, that's ok Uncle Danny. I don't feel like going to a party tonight."
"But Davlin." The voice changed slightly, it sounded hungry. "we want you to come. Where are, your dad's? I'm going to come and pick you up."
"No!" I screamed and tore off into a full sprint hoping to run into my father soon.
"I'm coming to get you, Davlin." The voice said in a low tone and it never once occurred to me to take the damn headset off. Tears blurred my vision and I could make out a form not too far in front of me. I stopped dead in my tracks.
"And when I do, I'm going to put you in my car and bring you to the party." Then he chuckled in a way that made me tremble. Then the music got so loud it hurt my ears and then my dad was 20 feet in front of me.
"Hey, Scully. I guess these things don't go very far, do they?" It was my dad's voice coming through the speakers this time. When he got closer he saw the state I was in and grew concerned. "Davlin, are you ok? What happened?" When I wouldn't respond, he scooped me up in his arms and carried me home.
I haven't touched a walky talky since.
Sacrament
It started out as a voice when I was real young, maybe four or five. It told me I was meant for something great. Ever since then I've had prophetic dreams and in them I've seen the world end more ways than I can remember. Sometimes, I'm the hero, others the cause. The voice speaks to me in them sometimes, often with instructions. A lot of people confined to the unstable wing in the mental hospital spoke about the same things. They're minds just weren't strong enough to handle it.
See, it's easy to write these dreams off as nothing more than just my mind struggling to deal with the issues it's plagued by. I'd be more than happy to agree with you, if it weren't for the fact that this shit follows me around even when I'm awake. I've come face to face with what I can only describe as aliens; been attacked and molested by mysterious things in the night; seen countless ghosts and spirits, as well as a whole bunch of stuff you're probably not going to believe. But it's all true. In fact, a lot of these instances had other eye witnesses.
I've spoken about them before and I was diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic. Reactions such as this forced me to hold back considerably from telling the world about my experiences, but no more. I'm going to tell you everything and I don't care if you think I'm crazy or not, because every word of what you read here is the truth. And I think within it, there's a message I'm supposed to give. Let's see if we can find it together.
Also, in case you're wondering; yes, I do believe in God. I just don't think we've really gotten Him or anything else truly figured out.
Yet.
See, it's easy to write these dreams off as nothing more than just my mind struggling to deal with the issues it's plagued by. I'd be more than happy to agree with you, if it weren't for the fact that this shit follows me around even when I'm awake. I've come face to face with what I can only describe as aliens; been attacked and molested by mysterious things in the night; seen countless ghosts and spirits, as well as a whole bunch of stuff you're probably not going to believe. But it's all true. In fact, a lot of these instances had other eye witnesses.
I've spoken about them before and I was diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic. Reactions such as this forced me to hold back considerably from telling the world about my experiences, but no more. I'm going to tell you everything and I don't care if you think I'm crazy or not, because every word of what you read here is the truth. And I think within it, there's a message I'm supposed to give. Let's see if we can find it together.
Also, in case you're wondering; yes, I do believe in God. I just don't think we've really gotten Him or anything else truly figured out.
Yet.
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