Wednesday, March 23, 2011
When we reach the top of the hill, I spread the blanket I'm carrying under my arms across the grass. I hold out my hand, offering her a seat, and don't take mine until after she does. We then hold hands in silence as we gaze out at the spectacle before us. Then, we turn away and look into each others eyes. For a brief moment, we try to convey all the feelings we have which are too complex for words with a single look. Within it is a fire which rivals those starting to close in around us. Then, we connect at the lips for the most passionate kiss of our lives as the world is reduced to ashes.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
The earliest memory of my Father.
I'm really young and it always starts while I'm in the middle of a conversation with my Dad he claims never happened. We're riding in his truck and I'm too small to see anything but sky out the windows with the occasional curved lamppost which now look oddly familiar.
"You see, son, the world is going to end it's going to happen soon." He tells me without taking his eye off the road. "You need to be ready for it."
"When is this going to happen?"
"Soon." His voice sounds different than it has before or since. It's gentle, with just a touch of sadness.
"Why?"
"Because everything must end."
"H.." I swallow hard, "How does it..."
"The last time it happened He used water. This time it will be fire." My head is flooded with images which still haunt me today and I feel like I'm going to throw up. "You have to be ready."
This is the last thing I remember.
"You see, son, the world is going to end it's going to happen soon." He tells me without taking his eye off the road. "You need to be ready for it."
"When is this going to happen?"
"Soon." His voice sounds different than it has before or since. It's gentle, with just a touch of sadness.
"Why?"
"Because everything must end."
"H.." I swallow hard, "How does it..."
"The last time it happened He used water. This time it will be fire." My head is flooded with images which still haunt me today and I feel like I'm going to throw up. "You have to be ready."
This is the last thing I remember.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Visions
The first prophetic dream I can remember having occurred during kindergarten (I believe, it's really hard to get it straight with how many times we moved) and after I heard the Voice for the first time. Mom and Jeff (my later to be step-dad) were separated and we were living in a trailer. I was sleeping when something woke me up. This is when the TV turned on by itself to reveal an old, bald man behind a news desk. His hands were bloody and sprayed gore whenever he moved them. He looked me dead in the eyes and said,
"This has been a long time coming. And now, ladies and gentleman, I give you..."
My bedroom window filled with a brilliant light and when I went to it and looked out I found that the sky was on fire.
"the end of the world." Then the TV shut off by itself and I don't remember anything else, not even waking up.
There's only once I can claim to have had an actual vision. It was after the previous dream and I was riding with mom and Jeff in his truck. They were talking amongst themselves and I sat quietly in the back seat, just like always. There was this brilliant flash and once it dissipated the world around me had changed.
The road we were driving on was cracked and littered with debris, which we drove through unscathed. Outside the passenger window I could see huge, gaping chasms with fire and molten rock spilling out of them. People were screaming and burning alive and when I looked up at the sky it was blood red. I was terrified, but they kept talking in the front seat like they were oblivious to the horrors happening all around us. Then, another flash brought everything back to normal. They didn't even notice how terrified I was in the back.
I've never told the second story before tonight, while the first served as the inspiration for Ch. 10 of Harbinger.
"This has been a long time coming. And now, ladies and gentleman, I give you..."
My bedroom window filled with a brilliant light and when I went to it and looked out I found that the sky was on fire.
"the end of the world." Then the TV shut off by itself and I don't remember anything else, not even waking up.
There's only once I can claim to have had an actual vision. It was after the previous dream and I was riding with mom and Jeff in his truck. They were talking amongst themselves and I sat quietly in the back seat, just like always. There was this brilliant flash and once it dissipated the world around me had changed.
The road we were driving on was cracked and littered with debris, which we drove through unscathed. Outside the passenger window I could see huge, gaping chasms with fire and molten rock spilling out of them. People were screaming and burning alive and when I looked up at the sky it was blood red. I was terrified, but they kept talking in the front seat like they were oblivious to the horrors happening all around us. Then, another flash brought everything back to normal. They didn't even notice how terrified I was in the back.
I've never told the second story before tonight, while the first served as the inspiration for Ch. 10 of Harbinger.
Friday, March 4, 2011
With a bang
This is a dream I just woke up from and I want to try and get it down while it's still fresh.
It started with my last day from the job I just recently quit, but it happened differently. For some reason, all of the employees were forced to sleep at the office due to some horrible event which was happening all over the world. There were no details concerning just exactly what was transpiring outside the walls, but everyone was panicked and I wasn't even allowed to go outside for a smoke. I had some heartfelt conversations with fellow coworkers which now escape me.
The next thing I know, I'm outside with woods all around me. Some time had passed and I was fully knowledgeable of why I was forced to previously stay inside. There was some kind of epidemic which was being passed to us by the animals. Doctors likened it to rabies (similar to 28 days later) but it worked differently. I don't know why and I quickly let it go because suddenly I was surrounded by a pack of snarling dogs and they were more deserving of my attention.
I could tell they wanted to rip my throat out, but they kept their distance. I was scared, but I knew everything was going to be ok, because for some reason nothing ever attacked me in this world. They were held back from doing so by some outside force, allowing me to walk past them unharmed. They followed me, snarling the entire time and viciously tore apart any person or creature that happened by.
Finally I came to a house I had never seen before and began knocking on the door. An older woman I'd only seen in pictures answered and said, "Thank God you made it, get inside!"
"Are you two ok?" I asked her, my voice matching her hysteria.
"No...she..." She struggled with the news I knew I wouldn't want to hear. "Oh, Davlin. She's gotten sick."
I let the weight of her words sink in before asking, "Where's my shotgun?"
She pointed to it and I loaded it up. I went to find her, the woman I loved, and when I looked into her eyes I could tell I was already starting to lose her.
"Just do it." Was all she could bring herself to say.
Tears began to fall down my cheeks and even though I knew I was immune, it wasn't safe to get too close. I asked her to turn around, which she did, and I put the barrel of my gun to the back of her head. My hands were shaking and it took me a few seconds to steady them. Then, I pulled the trigger.
The gun malfunctioned and did minimal damage and she was still alive. I pumped the gun and fired again, but she was still standing. I reloaded and emptied the gun again. She screamed in agony, but was still alive.
"For someone expected to save us all, you sure are bad at it." She told me, blood running from her mouth.
Tears flowed from my eyes as I repeated the process and the next shot finished the job. Once she was gone I let the gun fall to the floor. Sounds of a world falling apart could be heard outside of the house. I stood there in shock when her mom walked over to me, took me into her arms and together we grieved.
It started with my last day from the job I just recently quit, but it happened differently. For some reason, all of the employees were forced to sleep at the office due to some horrible event which was happening all over the world. There were no details concerning just exactly what was transpiring outside the walls, but everyone was panicked and I wasn't even allowed to go outside for a smoke. I had some heartfelt conversations with fellow coworkers which now escape me.
The next thing I know, I'm outside with woods all around me. Some time had passed and I was fully knowledgeable of why I was forced to previously stay inside. There was some kind of epidemic which was being passed to us by the animals. Doctors likened it to rabies (similar to 28 days later) but it worked differently. I don't know why and I quickly let it go because suddenly I was surrounded by a pack of snarling dogs and they were more deserving of my attention.
I could tell they wanted to rip my throat out, but they kept their distance. I was scared, but I knew everything was going to be ok, because for some reason nothing ever attacked me in this world. They were held back from doing so by some outside force, allowing me to walk past them unharmed. They followed me, snarling the entire time and viciously tore apart any person or creature that happened by.
Finally I came to a house I had never seen before and began knocking on the door. An older woman I'd only seen in pictures answered and said, "Thank God you made it, get inside!"
"Are you two ok?" I asked her, my voice matching her hysteria.
"No...she..." She struggled with the news I knew I wouldn't want to hear. "Oh, Davlin. She's gotten sick."
I let the weight of her words sink in before asking, "Where's my shotgun?"
She pointed to it and I loaded it up. I went to find her, the woman I loved, and when I looked into her eyes I could tell I was already starting to lose her.
"Just do it." Was all she could bring herself to say.
Tears began to fall down my cheeks and even though I knew I was immune, it wasn't safe to get too close. I asked her to turn around, which she did, and I put the barrel of my gun to the back of her head. My hands were shaking and it took me a few seconds to steady them. Then, I pulled the trigger.
The gun malfunctioned and did minimal damage and she was still alive. I pumped the gun and fired again, but she was still standing. I reloaded and emptied the gun again. She screamed in agony, but was still alive.
"For someone expected to save us all, you sure are bad at it." She told me, blood running from her mouth.
Tears flowed from my eyes as I repeated the process and the next shot finished the job. Once she was gone I let the gun fall to the floor. Sounds of a world falling apart could be heard outside of the house. I stood there in shock when her mom walked over to me, took me into her arms and together we grieved.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Hell exists
A few weeks after my 18th birthday I was about to get kicked out of my dad's house after living with him for only three days. The depression I'd felt since before I graduated reached its boiling point and I just couldn't take it anymore. Once him and my stepmom were asleep I took every pill from both medicine cabinets and swallowed them.
I sat down and watched TV for a bit and wondered exactly what dying was going to be like. My stomach grew upset and I threw up a little into a bucket that was lying in the converted garage in which I was sleeping. Then, I put the bucket outside, turned off the lights and laid down onto my cot, ready for the end to come and take me.
The first thing that went was my sense of hearing. All the sounds around me were muddled, like I was listening to everything underwater. I felt myself begin to sink, though my body stayed there on the cot. My eyes remained open, but the room around me began slipping farther away. This is when I stopped breathing.
I have no way of knowing how long I was out, because time is nothing more than a word once you've shaken lose the mortal coil. All I know is I felt like I would never stop falling. On the way there, I lost my vision and it wasn't until I reached my destination that my hearing kicked back in. The second it did, I wished it hadn't.
Like I said, I couldn't see a thing. All I could hear were countless voices screaming in pain and pleas for help which would never reach anyone who could do anything for them. Then there was an intense heat like nothing I'd ever known and the pain was intolerable. This was, however, nothing compared to the complete isolation and the knowledge that I would continue to suffer like this forever.
That's when I felt two cool hands place themselves lovingly upon my cheeks. Suddenly, I was racing upwards for what felt like an eternity before I could finally see my body above me. Right before I re-entered my vessel I heard the voice tell me, "It's not your time, yet."
Then I opened my eyes and my dad was sitting next to my cot, holding McDonalds right in front of my face. My stomach was torn to shreds and I couldn't bring myself to eat anything for almost a week after. My stepmom also ripped me a new asshole because the 2 dollar bucket I put outside was destroyed by her dogs.
After having over 7 years to reflect over these events I can tell you with all certainty that it was real. As with everything else I've posted here, I don't care what you think.
The worst thing about it is I'm not sure if this is still what's waiting for me once I've served my purpose and the possibility is always there in the back of my mind. I don't think there's really anything I can do to change this, so instead I've learned to make the best of the time I've got. If nothing else, the happy memories could help ease the pain, should I ever return to the pit for good.
I sat down and watched TV for a bit and wondered exactly what dying was going to be like. My stomach grew upset and I threw up a little into a bucket that was lying in the converted garage in which I was sleeping. Then, I put the bucket outside, turned off the lights and laid down onto my cot, ready for the end to come and take me.
The first thing that went was my sense of hearing. All the sounds around me were muddled, like I was listening to everything underwater. I felt myself begin to sink, though my body stayed there on the cot. My eyes remained open, but the room around me began slipping farther away. This is when I stopped breathing.
I have no way of knowing how long I was out, because time is nothing more than a word once you've shaken lose the mortal coil. All I know is I felt like I would never stop falling. On the way there, I lost my vision and it wasn't until I reached my destination that my hearing kicked back in. The second it did, I wished it hadn't.
Like I said, I couldn't see a thing. All I could hear were countless voices screaming in pain and pleas for help which would never reach anyone who could do anything for them. Then there was an intense heat like nothing I'd ever known and the pain was intolerable. This was, however, nothing compared to the complete isolation and the knowledge that I would continue to suffer like this forever.
That's when I felt two cool hands place themselves lovingly upon my cheeks. Suddenly, I was racing upwards for what felt like an eternity before I could finally see my body above me. Right before I re-entered my vessel I heard the voice tell me, "It's not your time, yet."
Then I opened my eyes and my dad was sitting next to my cot, holding McDonalds right in front of my face. My stomach was torn to shreds and I couldn't bring myself to eat anything for almost a week after. My stepmom also ripped me a new asshole because the 2 dollar bucket I put outside was destroyed by her dogs.
After having over 7 years to reflect over these events I can tell you with all certainty that it was real. As with everything else I've posted here, I don't care what you think.
The worst thing about it is I'm not sure if this is still what's waiting for me once I've served my purpose and the possibility is always there in the back of my mind. I don't think there's really anything I can do to change this, so instead I've learned to make the best of the time I've got. If nothing else, the happy memories could help ease the pain, should I ever return to the pit for good.
My last major encounter
December 2009
It was late that night, I had just spent hours on my laptop and my eyes felt like they were going to bleed. I set the computer by my side, took off my glasses and placed them on the nightstand. That's when I heard the voices. There were dozens of them and they came from all directions. A few of them were angry, others in frightened whispers, but they were all speaking the same language. I've never heard another one like it before or since. Suddenly, I was pushed and held down by an incredible force. From the light of the laptop, I could see my clothes being moved and pulled down by invisible hands in a hungry attempt to expose more skin. Then, they were all over me. I could see the paths of their fingertips as they explored every inch of my body. The voices grew louder and louder until they were screaming with delight. That's when I blacked out.
True story
It was late that night, I had just spent hours on my laptop and my eyes felt like they were going to bleed. I set the computer by my side, took off my glasses and placed them on the nightstand. That's when I heard the voices. There were dozens of them and they came from all directions. A few of them were angry, others in frightened whispers, but they were all speaking the same language. I've never heard another one like it before or since. Suddenly, I was pushed and held down by an incredible force. From the light of the laptop, I could see my clothes being moved and pulled down by invisible hands in a hungry attempt to expose more skin. Then, they were all over me. I could see the paths of their fingertips as they explored every inch of my body. The voices grew louder and louder until they were screaming with delight. That's when I blacked out.
True story
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Open to question
During first grade we lived in one of my favorite houses. It resembled a log cabin and behind it were woods which I spent my weekends exploring. I'm not sure how many of the memories from my younger years I can trust because they're spotty at best, so the story I'm about to tell you could have very well been a dream. Still, it's something to write about.
One Saturday my brother invited me into the woods to go exploring with him. This was back before I learned anytime he wanted me to do anything, it was only because he had something horrible in store for me. I led the way, pointing out insects and wildlife I encountered along he way.
I was so wrapped up in the scenery around me that I didn't hear my brother running up behind me. He threw his shoulder into it as he collided into my back, whipping my head back and landing chest first. He then rolled me over and started hitting me.
Then I was running away in tears while clutching my throbbing chest and I could hear him laughing in the distance. After a few minutes I came to a clearing, with a pond in the middle. 30 yards in front of me sat a woman in a white nightgown. Her back was to me and she was rocking back and forth with quiet sobs. Her long, blonde hair was filthy and matted.
I thought she might need help, so I walked up to her.
"Ma'am..." I called out to her. "Ma'am, are you ok?"
She didn't reply, only cried harder. She then turned around and I stopped cold.
I only saw her face for a second before I blacked out and the only detail I remember was the steady stream of blood flowing from her tear ducts.
I don't remember anything from the next several months after this.
One Saturday my brother invited me into the woods to go exploring with him. This was back before I learned anytime he wanted me to do anything, it was only because he had something horrible in store for me. I led the way, pointing out insects and wildlife I encountered along he way.
I was so wrapped up in the scenery around me that I didn't hear my brother running up behind me. He threw his shoulder into it as he collided into my back, whipping my head back and landing chest first. He then rolled me over and started hitting me.
Then I was running away in tears while clutching my throbbing chest and I could hear him laughing in the distance. After a few minutes I came to a clearing, with a pond in the middle. 30 yards in front of me sat a woman in a white nightgown. Her back was to me and she was rocking back and forth with quiet sobs. Her long, blonde hair was filthy and matted.
I thought she might need help, so I walked up to her.
"Ma'am..." I called out to her. "Ma'am, are you ok?"
She didn't reply, only cried harder. She then turned around and I stopped cold.
I only saw her face for a second before I blacked out and the only detail I remember was the steady stream of blood flowing from her tear ducts.
I don't remember anything from the next several months after this.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)